Bulma's Diary
by tocourtdisaster
Summary: Some of Bulma's diary entries after Trunks is born and Vegeta leaves. I couldn't help myself, I thought it had to be written. Formerly titled


Disclaimer: DBZ doesn't belong to me. "Without You" belongs to the Dixie Chicks. I am making no money off of this.   
  


Note: This is from Bulma's POV. 

~~~~~ 

_I've sure enjoyed the rain_

_But I'm looking forward to the sun_

_You have to feel the pain_

_When you lose the love you gave someone_

April 9--2:30 p.m. 

When will the sun shine again? I know it's been sunny for the past week, but I'm not talking about that. What I meant was: When will the sun shine through this depression that I'm in? The doctors say it's post-partum, but I don't believe that for one second. I know the real cause. After living with me for almost 3 years (and being my lover for a year and a half), Vegeta left me. We went to bed together 2 weeks ago. When I woke up, he was gone, and he hasn't come back since. He's most likely off somewhere training for the upcoming battle with the androids. But, if that boy from the future is right, then they won't be here for almost a year. So why'd he leave. 

_I thought by now the time_

_Would take away these lonely tears_

_I hope you're doing fine all alone_

_But where do I go from here?_

April 10--9:00 a.m. 

I'm still crying. I'm still crying about Vegeta being gone. You'd think that after 2 weeks of him being gone, that I'd stop feeling sorry for myself. But I can't. I love him so much. Where ever you are Vegeta, I hope you're okay. What am I thinking? Of course you're okay. You're Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans. Nothing on this "mudball" could hurt you. But what will I do if he does get hurt? Or if he just chooses not to come back to me? I don't know. I really don't know. But, whatever I do, I still have to be around for Trunks. No matter what, I'll make sure that he always has a mother. 

_'Cause without you I'm not okay_

_And without you I"ve lost my way_

_My heart's stuck in second place_

_Ooh, without you_

April 11--4:00 p.m. 

Vegeta still hasn't come home. Without him here, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm completely and utterly lost. It seems like when he was here, I didn't work because we were constantly fighting. Now, without him here, I don't know what to do. I don't even think I remember how to work. I haven't in so long. 

Everyone's worried about me. Even Mom's noticed that something's wrong. That's an accomplishment for her. Even Yamcha started coming around again. Every time he's here he tells me the same thing: "Told ya so. I told ya that he was no good. He left you to raise Trunks alone. But you don't have to. I can be his father if you want." At this point, I always throw him out. No one, that means **_no one_**, talks bad about my Vegeta. 

_Well I never thought I'd be_

_Lying here without you by my side_

_It seems unreal to me _

_That the life you promised was a lie_

April 12--1:45 a.m. 

Now I'm becoming an insomniac. I can't sleep anymore unless Vegeta's arms are wrapped around me. I became so accustomed to it that I took it for granted. Plus, I can't stand the fact that Vegeta lied to me. He promised me that he would never leave me. He only said it once, in my bed, after we had made love for the first time, but he still promised. He promised me, and now he's gone. He left me. 

_You made it look so easy_

_Making love into memories_

_I guess you got what you wanted_

_But what about me?_

April 12--12:00 p.m. 

Where are you Vegeta? What are you doing while I'm wallowing in misery? What are you thinking while I'm thinking of our time together? I remember every time we made love, every argument, and every time he smiled a genuine smile (which was _**very**_ rarely).I hope he remembers too. These memories are the only things besides Trunks that are sustaining me at the moment. Where are you Vegeta? I need you. 

_Without you I'm not okay_

_And without you I've lost my way_

_My heart's stuck in second place_

_Ooh, without you_

April 13--6:45 a.m. 

I am not looking forward to today. Friday the 13th. Already, Trunks is sick with pneumonia. I feel like crap too. Where are you Vegeta? Now is when I need you the most. I need your help and support. Come home, please. Maybe we can make Friday the 13th into a good day. But first you need to come home. Come home Vegeta. Come back to me. 

_Somebody tell my head_

_to try to tell my heart_

_That I'm better off without you_

_'Cause baby I can't live_

April 14--10:00 p.m. 

Maybe Yamcha was right. Maybe Vegeta is never coming back. Maybe I am better off without him. It's been almost 3 weeks, and I haven't heard a word from him, or about him. Maybe I should just forget about him and move on with my life. But how do you do that when your son looks exactly like him? But I can't live without him in my life. I just have to wait, and hope he comes back to me soon. 

_Without you I'm not okay_

_And without you I've lost my way_

_My heart's stuck in second place_

_Ooh, without you_

April 15--7:30 p.m. 

I haven't eaten in 2 days. I'm just no hungry anymore. Mom tries to get me to eat something, but I can't eat any of it. I'm not "okay" like I tell everyone I am. I'm going to end up dead it Vegeta doesn't come home. But I can't. I have to be here for Trunks. He needs his mother. I need to be strong. If not for myself, then for him. I will start working again. I will stop feeling sorry for myself. And I will start to eat again. But I won't be the same until Vegeta comes back. I'll never be the same without him. 

_Without you_   
  


Fin   
  


Author's Notes: FYI-In case you couldn't figure it out, this takes place about 11 months before the androids show up. Trunks is a few weeks old. And that last entry is why Bulma seems fine on the show when the androids do show up. I might do some sort of sequel to this if I get positive feedback, so please tell me what you think.   
  


P.S.--Visit my website at [http://www.geocities.com/duckie_710/index.html][1]. 

   [1]: #http://www.geocities.com/duckie_710/index.html



End file.
